There seems to be a tendency in Blog Land lately to ditch the diet and the scale and start living healthily. I applaud that initiative wholeheartedly, because I have always believed that weight is a symptom of a life out of balance. And if you know me well enough, you will know that I’m not into treating symptoms. I’m all about restoring that balance!
Yes, it is vitally important to eat healthy, nourishing food, to be active and to spend time outside, as that addresses other imbalances and gives our bodies what they need to be fit and healthy. But there is an even more important component at work here – our emotions. We are emotional beings and unless we can bring balance to that aspect of our lives, the rest will always remain a struggle.
One of the most treasured books on my shelf is “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise L. Hay. Louise has the following to say about excess weight:
Overweight is another good example of how we can waste a lot of energy trying to correct a problem that is not the real problem. People often spend years and years fighting fat and are still overweight. They blame all their problems on being overweight. The excess weight is only an outer effect of a deep inner problem. To me, it is always fear and a need for protection. When we feel frightened or insecure or “not good enough”, many of us will put on extra weight or protection.
To spend time berating ourselves for being too heavy, to feel guilty about every bite of food we eat, to do all the numbers we do on ourselves when we gain weight, is just a waste of time. Twenty years later we can still be in the same situation because we have not even begun to deal with the real problem. All that we have done is to make ourselves more frightened and insecure, and then we need more weight for protection.
So I refuse to focus on excess weight or on diets. For diets do not work. The only diet that works is a mental diet – dieting from negative thoughts. I say to clients, “Let us just put that issue to one side for the time being while we work on a few other things first.”
They will often tell me they can’t love themselves because they are so fat, or as one girl put it, “too round at the edges”. I explain that they are fat because they don’t love themselves. When we begin to love and approve of ourselves, it’s amazing how weight just disappears from our bodies.
Did that make you uncomfortable? Do you prefer to believe that you are fat because you are powerless over food, too lazy to exercise, too weak to stick to any plan? Can you see that all these reasons are just more ways in which you criticize yourself and reinforce your own belief that you are “not good enough”? (I’m really talking to myself here!)
When we begin to expose the lies in the ever-present dialogue in our heads, weed them out and instill positive thoughts and beliefs, we will stop abusing food and we will start treating our bodies with respect, feeding it lovingly, exercising it regularly – pampering it! In a non-judgmental, non-regimental, balanced way. There will be no “should”, no “have to”, no pounding ourselves and our bodies into submission.
It will be about love. When we love ourselves, we will treat ourselves with the respect and care we deserve, eating healthy and being active. We will work with our bodies, instead of against them or in spite of them and instead of tricking them into certain responses. And we will be thin, healthy and vibrant for the rest of our lives.
Louise recommends the following affirmation: I know that every cell in my body is intelligent and knows how to heal itself. My body is always working toward perfect health. I learn about nutrition and feed my body only wholesome food. I watch my thinking and think only healthy thoughts. I love my body. I send love to each organ, bone, muscle, and part of my body. I flood the cells of my body with love. I am grateful to my body for all the good health I have had in the past. I accept healing and good health here and now.
How very different is that from the negative and critical thoughts we have about our bodies every day? How contrary to the disdain with which we treat our god-pods?
What happened to our bodies being temples? We’ve turned them into ruins and rubbish dumps.
It’s time to rebuild and re-consecrate the temple.
Ultimately our health is not a medical condition, it’s a life-long relationship with ourselves.
Click on image for info.
Hi Hanle wonderful blog!! So much truth and wisdom here, that if we could all get our heads around it would make huge changes to our lives. Keep up the fantastic work you are doing for yourself.
That is really a different way of looking at it. You are right though, the weight is usually a symptom of a much bigger, or at least different, issue.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Weekend Challenges Ahead
Excellent observations! One of the realizations I came to during my loss phase was that my weight wasn’t an issue of eating to punish myself or to avoid issues or problems or any of those things. And I would have assured anyone who suggested that I didn’t love myself that they were 100% wrong. But then I realized that not loving myself enough to simply pay attention to what I was doing proved me to be the one in the wrong.
cammy@tipptoediet´s last blog ..Crazy Thinking
LOVE THIS! Especially this part ” What happened to our bodies being temples? We’ve turned them into ruins and rubbish dumps.” Brilliantly true!
*huggles*
=0)
Felicia´s last blog ..Ok back to the positive…
These are really important thoughts to consider. For me, when I became morbidly obese, I definitely didn’t take care of my body properly. As I lost weight, I began to more appreciate what a miracle our bodies are. We can abuse them, overfeed them, and yet when we change that, healing occurs.
As important as it is to eat healthy, and eat clean – to lose weight, you still do need to pay attention to how much of the good food you are eating – right?
This was a great post – thanks for sharing the book with all of us!
Diane, fit to the finish´s last blog ..Inquiring Minds Want To Know
this really put words to some of the things I’ve been feeling lately and has given me a lot to think about.
Teresa´s last blog ..Starting Small
I love Louise too. There’s much Truth in what she writes.
When I came to an understanding that my weight was merely a symptom, rather than THE problem, changing my relationship to food became possible. My body became not the enemy, but the vehicle through which I was going to find my freedom. I knew that mine was a Holy Hunger, that no amount of food could ever fill. What I really craved, was starving for, was love and acceptance that I felt I never received, because I was either not enough or too much. Did I use my food and excess weight as protection? Absolutely. Protection from my own anger and sadness.
Of course, like you mentioned, my excess weight was a reflection of a life out of balance. When I finally said, “NO MORE DIETS. EVER.”, I had to be willing to shine the spotlight in some dark corners, places I had chosen to ignore for many years. Here’s a few questions that helped me do some much-needed housecleaning: What do I regularly crave but deny myself? Why do I deny myself these things? Is it about feelings of lack and scarcity, or is it about being in control?
Prepare for demons to rear their ugly heads. And then, love them into submission.
Love you, Hanlie! You are beautiful.
earthmother´s last blog ..A Feast For The Eyes: Sweet Potato Fries
Hanlie -what a lovely post!
I agree completely about the weight being a symptom of something else. Let’s continue to approach ourselves with as much love as we approach others and we will see the weight be released.
I have been enjoying Jon Gabriel’s book – The Gabriel Method. Jon lost a ton of weight ( I think around 200 pounds) without dieting. He focused on getting the right nutrients – live foods, good quality proteins, omega threes, enzymes and probiotics. He worked with meditation and affirmations and mindset.
Of all of the approaches I have seen, his seems the most peaceful to me. I am looking forward to struggling less and tending my emotions in more effective and loving ways.
You are an inspiration to me girl! Thank you for all of your support and positive energy.
Kat´s last blog ..check in – goodbye 1.4
Well said! Need to resolve the condition to find the success.
Trish (@IamSucceeding)´s last blog ..A Struggling Saturday
I think there’s a lot of truth in that. But what really gives me the best perspective is taking my eyes off of myself and keeping them on the Lord. He gave me this vessel to carry me through my time on earth. Taking good care of this vessel is my way of honoring Him. I find myself getting off track if I’m obsessing and focused just on me for too long. When I go for walks outside by myself, I tend to spend that time communicating with and becoming closer to Him. When I know how much HE loves me, it’s hard to hate myself. I don’t write too much about this on my blog because to me it feels so deeply personal, it’s hard to put into words out in blogospace.
MamaBearJune´s last blog ..Another sunny day in paradise!
I love Louise Hay and many, many authors from Hay House. I had the chance to actually go to their I CAN DO IT! weekend workshops for the first time this past spring and it was amazing! I am definitely looking forward to going again!
And what you point out here Hanlie is so important. As I mention a lot in life to people (not nearly enough on Evolving Wellness yet) one can eat the healthiest diet ever, and if the emotional state is out of balance health cannot follow. Our stress levels, emotional levels are such a key factor in how our body will translate the nutrition we give it.
A healthy outlook on the self is critical indeed, because our thoughts do create our reality and if we keep seeing our bodies as “bad” or “gross” or whatever else, we can never expect them to heal in any way! Great post!!!!
P.S. On another note, I am taking off tomorrow for a much needed 2 week vacation, up north to a secluded cottage. I am looking forward to reconnecting with nature, quieting my mind and just being with my husband. I tried to schedule some posts on Wellness, although I never get done as many as I would hope for, and look forward to catching up on your posts when I get back
Evita´s last blog ..Vegetarian Recipe: Vegan Cheesey Whole Rye Pasta
@Evita: Have a great time, Evita! I will most definitely miss you, but you certainly deserve the time away! I was actually just saying to Craig this morning that we need to get out into nature more often…
Brilliant! You are great at bringing real issues out in a way that makes me strive to do better!
Thank you,
Angie
Angie´s last blog ..Our new blog site is up!
I love how you ask if that makes “you uncomfortable”. Why yes, yes it does. And it helps me to realize that my weight gain, even though it was relatively minor, was definitely due to some negative talk and other issues at the time. Very insightful, Hanlie!
Patty´s last blog ..How Muscadine Wine and Chicken Salad lead to Lettuce Soup
It is interesting to me that your post is so similar to the one I posted today. If there is one thing all of us overweight people have in common I think it is the feeling of not being enough. We all need to realize that we are enough and more than we can ever imagine. We do have a voice and it deserves to be heard. We all need to start loving ourselves more and hurting ourselves less. Thank you Hanlie for such a wonderful post, I just love visiting your blog!
Brava, Hanlie!! Great post and I wholeheartedly agree. I also treasure that book and I just lent it to a friend. I hope it brings her the joy it has brought me.
Karen´s last blog ..Silence, Yoga And Being Me