Posted by hanlie | Posted in My Long Walk to Health | Posted on 10-07-2009
My friend Tony, The Anti-Jared, doesn’t like the word “fat”. Who does? I don’t like the word “recession” either, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that we’re smack bang in the middle of one. Similarly, I’m fat.
Before you go any further, please read Tony’s post about the word “fat” before reading why I respectfully disagree.
I realize that we’re from vastly different backgrounds. I’m always shocked at the amount of teasing and name-calling that occurs in America. To be unique or different there is to paint a target on your back and get shot day in and day out (although, given the latest obesity figures, being fat in America is no longer unique or different – so teasing should have decreased right?) Not only does that type of climate not encourage individuality, but it seems as if parents aren’t teaching their children tolerance or even basic good manners. Here in South Africa diversity is embraced much more freely. I’ve never been called names, and believe me, I do stand out, since obesity is much less prevalent and I’m the usually the fattest person in any group. We may kill and rape one another on a wholesale basis over here, but we don’t insult one another. That would be wrong.
So yes, I get that “fat” might be a slur for many people, but there is no other word that describes the condition as accurately.
Fat is measurable – a man should have no more than half an inch of pinchable fat around his waist and a woman no more than an inch. Any more than that and you’re, well, fat. And you are at an increased risk of developing certain lifestyle related diseases.
The term “overweight” implies that there is some perfect weight for all of us, which is not true. Tony himself is a case in point here. His weight dropped below 200 pounds a few months ago and he reached “goal”. Since then he’s been gaining lots of muscle and is once again over 200 pounds. He’s leaner than before, definitely not fat, but according to the weight charts and the bogus BMI scale he’s overweight. I envision the same thing happening to me – to have the body I want, I will be carrying a lot of muscle, which will put me in the “overweight” category. The only way I can be a “normal” weight would be to have very little muscle mass. So the term “overweight” is meaningless, since most of us are striving to be lean and heavy.
That puts paid to the term “heavy”. Heavy compared to what? I’m heavy compared to most other people, but even when I have the body I want, I will be heavy compared to a lot of people.
Tony suggested we use the term “determined to get healthy”. Well that may be true for some of us, but a lot of dieters and weight loss bloggers are only interested in losing weight. Health is something they’re not really bothered with. I see it every day, over and over again. They’re not interested in proper nutrition, can’t be bothered with verifiable scientific data and allow the media to confuse them with junk science to the point where they throw their hands up the air and say, “I just don’t know anymore, so I’ll just do what feels good to me. It should be okay!”. And then they can’t understand why they have raging PMS every month, come down with every bug around, suffer from headaches, fatigue, depression, insomnia, digestive woes, hormone imbalances and skin conditions and develop a variety of degenerative and auto-immune diseases over time. Health is only attained through healthy living, so don’t for one minute think that losing a bunch of weight absolves you from health problems. Yes, it helps to a certain degree, but look around the heart and cancer units of hospitals – there are plenty of “normal” people who succumb to those diseases.
Furthermore a large number of (fat) people don’t care about getting healthy or thin. They just want to continue eating junk and sit on the couch. What shall we call them?
I quite like the word zaftig, but it only really works for women. It means “deliciously plump, or carrying your extra weight very well”. I don’t know about that…
Similarly, “plump” can work for someone who has a few pounds to lose, but not for me!
“Chunky” and “tubby” seem less than polite.
“Chubby” once again doesn’t work for the obese (apart from the fact that it can also mean a “half-erect penis”! The things you can learn on the internet!). It’s for those who have only a few pounds to lose.
Marilyn Monroe was “curvy” and “voluptuous”. Me, not so much right now, although I’m sure I’ll get there again.
The truth is I’m fat. I’m also tall. The one is no more an insult than the other. It’s just a statement of fact.
Any other euphemisms you want me to address? I’m on a roll!
And thanks Tony for providing me with blogging material for today!
I don’t mind being called fat since there is nothing wrong with my eyes.
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Hanlie I love this overview! Aside from being down right rational and logical, you gave me a good chuckle as always, along the way.
LOL “We may kill and rape one another on a wholesale basis over here, but we don’t insult one another.” I know this is nothing to laugh about, but the way you said it was really funny.
And it is true here in N.A. there is A LOT of insulting, a lot. And at the end of the day, why? We strive for world peace (yeah right) and yet we start little wars each day. It doesn’t make sense at all, but I think it has something to do with having lost a purpose. Now we just live life by comparison and make fun of anything that does not fit our paradigms, most of which are completely screwed up.
Anyway on another note, I like how you wrote this, because I also don’t believe (and this doesn’t only relate to the weight thing) that we should deny or run away from anything. When we suppress, repress or turn a blind eye to anything, we stay standing still, and often even go backwards in our personal evolution.
So anyway, great start to a Friday
P.S. I love all your blog themes lately – they all look so good and fresh!
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Ouch!!! Certainly a post I don’t agree with. I’ve learnt to stop telling myself that I’m fat, and even though that is what my body currently reflects, talking negative doesn’t help me with achieving the goals I have set in place. So now when friends, family, acquaintances at the gym/home/wherever tell me how great/fabulous/whatever I’m looking – I’ve learnt to say *Thank You* instead of *Thank You but I’m still fat* because when I said the latter not only had I let myself down but the also the person giving the comment.
My lifestyle has changed, I am constantly evolving when it comes to exercise and each day I grow a bit more and thankfully consider myself wise enough to realise that the moment I slip back into my bad ol’ ways, well then everything I have worked for would be down the tubes, so to say!!
Anyways, have a super weekend.
Hugs
Mich
@Michelle aka ShellyD: My point is that I’m not calling myself names my saying I’m fat, anymore than I’m calling myself names when I say I’m tall. That’s not negative talk and there’s no judgment attached to the word. It’s just a description. I agree with you that negative talk is very counter-productive and I have also had to learn not to indulge in it.
I hate the words fat but it doesn’t negate the real, obvious truth that I am fat. If I call myself anything else I’m still fat. I prefer to live in reality. It is what it is.
But I’m working towards being leaner.
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I loved this posting.
and you were quite gutsy in writing it!
I am more comfortable with the word ‘fat’ NOW (at the ‘end’) than I was in the beginning.
Now I call the individual pockets of fat (on my body) fat and it does not pain me. It is what those body sections ARE – reality.
But when my whole body was covered in rolling layers of fat – I don’t think I used that word – nor thought of it that way.
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And I (personally) have not found the bmi chart to be faulty. It (for me) is accurate.
vickie´s last blog ..Any one else care to discuss my body ???
I think sometimes it just comes down to a good comparison. Next to my lanky teenager, I am fat…Next the 6′
tall 200lb man on the bus…. I am a twig…whose point of view are we looking at?
I like your point that “fat” is just, well, an adjective. it’s descriptive..but I think we all know, if we are being
called “fat” by someone (even ourselves) it doesn’t feel good to be labeled or put down.
how about just some plain ole respect. We are all who we are and where we are in our personal
journey….
along with fat, are we kind? or are we cruel? are we caring? Do we have empathy and compassion?
are we creative? lots of plenty of adjectives to describe ourselves and it’s too bad we as people, sometimes
only see whats on the outside and fail to look deeper into those beautiful adjectives on the inside!
Great Post, as always Hanlie!
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I read Tony’s article and I can see where he is coming from-there is nothing more frustrating to see the thin people complain about being fat when in most cases they are not.
But, I don’t mind saying I’m fat. To say otherwise would be denying it. According to many charts with my height and weight, I’m morbidly obese. I try not to let that bother me because even when I get to my goal weight I’ll still be obese-but I’ll feel my best.
I’ve been called Fluffy in the past and that’s okay with me. When a friend of mine and I talk about being fat we call ourselves ‘big girls’ or ‘bigguns’. Honestly though I’ve not had many instances where someone said mean things to me about my fat. And even being FAT, I’m still relatively healthy and active. I told my cousin the other day that I have quite a bit of muscle and strength below my layers of fluff, lol.
Your article-and Tony’s- are great!
P.S. I got the book and I’ve started reading it, thanks!
PPS, forget the book part, I got my bloggers mixed up! My bad!
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Whoa Hanlie — I’m going to have to address this in my own blog posting. Such an important (and contentious?) issue!
Love the passion emanating from this post!
Annabel
Annabel´s last blog ..Whole Foods & Fatty Foods
I agree with you!
Lisa´s last blog ..Better today… (comparision pics added to this post)
This is a very powerful post and I see myself in the wrong category in a few places. I have to take small steps, though, in that quest for health. I’m not perfect, but getting better every day.
Agree about the faulty BMI after a discussion on that last night!
And I am fat. Not good, bad or indifferent, it describes my physical state. The term I hear that bothers me is “fat and lazy.”
Jo´s last blog ..Good Things in My Life
Holy Cow! I wish I had known the alternate definition for the word “chubby” before I picked the blog name “CHUBBY Chick!” lol
Great post, Hanlie. I can see both your and Tony’s viewpoint.
Me? I feel fat… I look fat… most of my body weight is fat. So… I guess I’m officially fat. I realize that… but I sure don’t want anyone to call me that and state the obvious! hehe
I think you’re right about manners in America… at least from what I’ve observed. Parents just don’t seem to teach their children that it’s quite rude to call other people names… especially adults!
One more thing that you might get a chuckle out of… I also shared this on Tony’s blog…
A rather portly acquaintance of mine used to always joke and say that he wasn’t really FAT. He was just suffering from bulimic amnesia. He would binge and then forget to purge. hehe
Anyway… I love you… I love Tony… and this is one chubby/fat chick who is working her way towards curvy/voluptuous!
Have a great weekend!
Chubby Chick´s last blog ..Week 21 Weigh-In/5 Month Anniversary
This post is a great example of why I think you are amazing! I too, obviously, don’t mind being called fat. Really… I am fat and that is okay. Unfortunately, people do judge the fat folks here in the US, but I can guarantee I can out run, out lift and out last most of my skinny friends that are just skinny and not fit and healthy! I don’t think being fat is bad, but I don’t want to be unhealthy. To be totally honest, the scales, the pounds and the charts is what has gotten me so fat. I always loved to work out and lift weights so when I was a size 8 and considered (according to the charts) overweight I gave up.
If I only I would haven known then what I know now…
XO Angie
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Just like I said to his post – I was fat and I knew it. I agree with you on the term fat being acceptable for some people. I could say I was fat, but other people couldn’t. One thing I really liked was when you said that the term “getting healthy” doesn’t apply to everyone who was on a weight loss quest. You are 100% right on that!
Now that I’ve lost the weight, I am reticient to label other people based on their appearance. This was a great post – very thought provoking!
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Well, I’ve called myself “fat” before, but I’ve never really been termed as “obese” according to the illegitimate BMI chart from 200 years ago. I guess I just long(ed) to be “fit”. Funny how there is only a one letter difference between “fit” and “fat”! If only that were the case in their meaning…
Anyway I’m not sure who I agree or disagree with. I think it is good to be able to state and know the truth to yourself. But there is a point when embracing something positive is more productive. For example, it may be more helpful to some to say to themselves, “I’m going to get more fit by…..” instead of saying, “I’m so fat….even though I’ve lost weight….when will I ever look good?”
Of course a person who is morbidly obese and profoundly happy about it, not desiring any change of health probably deserves to be called “fat” whether or not they like it. Just as a statement of fact.
Its similar to a moral situation….
You could have a person who has been to hell and back but is trying to repent and renew themselves who is at a better state than a person who has been much less sinful yet is heading down the wrong path.
So I guess you can’t always judge a person by the outward appearance.
But I guess this post was mostly about how we look at ourselves. And on that subject, I’ll say that we could enjoy ourselves more and loathe ourselves less. (When I say “enjoy ourselves more” I mean love who we are, and embrace it.)
Accept what you can’t change and improve upon what you can. Don’t stress the rest!
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The ‘fat’ debate always reminds me of the saying, “I can pick on my sister, but no one had better even try.”
I don’t mind the term when used by people who are or were overweight, but it rankles a bit when *some* others use it. LIke the young woman on TV the other day who proclaimed herself free from ‘fat’. Yessiree, she had managed to work her way from a size 10 to a size 4. Heck, when I hit size 10 (down from 22), I considered it a major triumph over fat. 
Have a great weekend, Hanlie!
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I sometimes think the looks hurt more than the words.
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I have never minded the word fat as an adult. As a kid, I hated it. I think it is just that I came to the reality that it was true. The word only means overweight. Unfortunately, a lot of people use it as an insult, just like when some people are called shorty. Many of those people don’t like the word short. I say go ahead and call me fat. Right now, it just motivates me.
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There are a lot of words I don’t like as well and I have to admit that “Fat” is one of them along with “Big Guy”. I don’t know why but I think it all stems from being called names all my life and even into adulthood. I have always associated those words as being negative thoughts and now as I am trying to lose weight and getting healthy as my #1 priority I really don’t need to hear those words. Are those words the truth about me, YES they are. It’s a description of who I am and not what I want to be. On one final note like I said those are also only words what defines me as a person is who I am inside and what’s in my heart and soul.
Another very good post I have to say
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When I say to people matter-of-factly that I’m fat they always either a.) argue that I’m not (!) and/or b.) tell me that I shouldn’t “run myself down”. I tell them that the word “fat” is just an adjective NOT a moral judgment and that I’m certainly not running myself down.
Actually, when I finally embraced the word Fat to describe my body, I found the conditioned shame we have about the word to disappear.
I love this post and get exactly what you mean, Hanlie.
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“Fat” is definitely a loaded word for me. This is a great post. I am also tall and even when I lose all of my fat, I will never be considered petite. How tall are you Hanlie?
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@Kat: Not that tall! I’m 5 ft 8 in. But I’m also large-boned, with huge hands and feet. I wear a US size 11 shoe! The best I can hope for is eliminating the X’s in front of L when it comes to clothing. Fortunately I have an hourglass shape, so as long as I’m fit and toned, I’ll look good.
I went and read and commented on Tony’s blog, already, so I won’t repeat myself other than to say I don’t mind the word fat anymore than I mind seeing the number on the scale every day. I am (or was) fat, and have been since teenage years. I think the word obese is uglier, and as far as “trying to get healthy”, I agree, not all fat people are, and many thin people are. As far as BMI, it really doesn’t work for people with lots of muscle, which is not me. Though I had to send back a jacket once, I had bought one from her before when I was much bigger, and wanted a new one. I told her what size I thought I was, and she asked my height and weight, said it was the same as hers, and that I should be size xyz. I said that I was probably smaller than that, but she insisted, and I had to send it back, it was huge.
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Words only bother you if you let them.
Personally? I don’t mind the word fat. I use it to describe myself without any hate or judgement.