My time is now
Posted on Apr 30, 2008 under By The Way... |I can’t believe that we’re one third into 2008 already! Time really waits for no man (or woman). Was this the year that you were going to change your life and your body? How’s that going?
Excess weight is dreams in storage. There’s a myth that we can store up time. Primitive cultures store up for the winter. We store up time in our hips. ~ Paulanne Balch, M.D
Have you ever wondered how you got so fat? I believe it’s because we get so caught up in day to day stuff that we’re always procrastinating our “start”. In the mean time, the pounds pile up and our lives fritter away… and before we know it we’ve been fat for 10 years. Let’s start waking up to the fact that THIS IS IT! This is your life. If you are not happy with the way it’s going, you need to start changing it. If you want to be thinner, DO something. If you are frustrated in your job - CHANGE it. Don’t sit around waiting for “something” to happen. You could still be waiting 10 years from now.
If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it. ~ Jonathan Winters
There are those who spend all their time in the past. What was true for them yesterday remains true for them today. It doesn’t have to be that way! You can determine your own truth for today! And that truth is not dependant on how you look, how fat or thin you are, how your parents, the kids at school or your ex treated you or even how you thought about yourself in the past. You CAN start fresh. You can learn to love and respect yourself. And let’s face it, any journey towards a leaner and healthier body has to contain a healthy measure of self-respect and self-nurture.
I really believe that the key to better health and weight loss is an emotional one. Sure, we need to eat healthy and exercise, but if your heart is not in it, you will not maintain your momentum. You WILL sabotage yourself. You WILL undermine your best efforts. You WILL beat yourself up, continue to look for justification for your failures and disappoint yourself and this whole thing will become a desperate, punitive journey - like walking barefoot over broken glass. It’s so unnecessary.
Then of course there are those who are deferring their joy until they reach their destination. They’re missing the point. The journey is not towards a new life. The journey is your life. We only stop journeying at the very end. You deserve the best now!
If you’re not enjoying the journey, then you probably won’t enjoy the destination.” ~ Joe Tye
Don’t throw away your life any longer. If you don’t like your weight, your state of health, your fitness level, DO something. And do it like you mean it!
I’ve been at home for a year now. My main motivation for opting to stay at home was so that I could actively pursue better health, fitness and lose weight. Yes, I’ve learned a lot about myself in that time. I’ve grown as a person. I’ve built a wonderful support system, started a blog, am developing a website. I have rich and rewarding relationships with people all over the world.
But whenever I speak to anybody from my old job, or even my insurance advisor (earlier today) or friends, the first question they ask me is “How much weight have you lost?” They don’t care about the other stuff. They just want to see me and be blown away by the difference.
And yes, I’ve lost 21 kg (46 pounds). But only in the last 90 odd days! Before that zip, nada, niks, f-all! And let’s face it, the difference is not really mind-boggling. You have to look closely to even notice it! For nine months I didn’t earn a cent and showed no results. Through all of this my husband has been patient and supportive…
It’s time to get serious about this. Juice feasting was great! I loved it! I’ll do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe not for so long and definitely not within the next 4-5 months.
But this is where the rubber meets the road! Today is what matters… Today and every day from now on. The time for excuses, justifications, deferments, indulgences and sitting on my fat ass is over. Through juice feasting I have constructed a wonderful foundation on which I can now build the new lifestyle I have been talking about all along.
I am worth the effort! You are too!
I have chosen a theme song for this leg of my journey. Whenever I think of this song, all the passion, the yearning (I can’t put into words what for) and the frustrations of being 18 in an oppressive home in a small desert town floods over me again…
Growin’ up
You don’t see the writin’ on the wall
Passin’ by
Movin’ straight ahead you knew it all
But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You’ll find you’re all alone
Everything has changedPlay the game
You know you can’t quit until it’s won
Soldier on
Only you can do what must be done
You know in some way
You’re a lot like me
You’re just a prisoner
And you’re tryin’ to break freeCHORUS:
I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s
Flyin’ higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion
All I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s FireOooh…
Burnin’ up
Don’t know just how far that I can go
(Just how far I go)
Soon be home
Only just a few miles down the road
I can make it
I know I can
You broke the boy in me
But you won’t break the man(CHORUS)
I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me
Burnin’ in meJust once in his life
A man has his time
And my time is now
And I’m comin’ aliveI can hear the music playin’
I can see the banners fly
Feel like you’re back again
And hope ridin’ high
Gonna be your man in motion
All I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire(CHORUS)
I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in meBurnin’
Burnin’ in me
I can feel it burnin’
Oooh, burnin’ inside of me
For your listening pleasure!
From this day on, I am a woman in motion!
While I was waiting for the song to load, I was browsing through my google reader and came across this very insightful post by Craig Harper. Of course! This is what I’m talking about! Do yourself a favor and read it!
April 30th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
I could not agree with you more. With EVERYTHING you said in this post.
I know how I got so fat. It started with not having a scale. By not having a scale I could look myself straight in the face every morning and lie and say “its not that bad I am just a little over weight”. By the time I had a scale and started to face the truth I was almost 400lbs. I had past “just fat” and landed squarely in OMG OBESE. Lying is what got me there. Food was just the tool I used. As long as I lied to myself I was never as “fat” as I really was. With that came the consequence of massive weight gain. I let life kick me in the butt instead of facing it head on and dealing with it. As long as life was in control of me food won. Life doesnt kick me in the butt anymore I kick it instead *grin*. I make my life work for me now and I am aware of my own truth there for should never land back where I was again.
I have learned a lot on my journey so far. I learned that the weight loss was only the by product of getting control of my life.
I had not left my house in years and years. Now that I am people aren’t asking “where have you been” the only ask “how much have you lost”. Its nice for the moment but was sad to think that I hadnt been out in so many years and all that they could ask about is my weight. Maybe it was the safer question? I dont know. But anyways it should be an amazing summer. Not only because I am thinner but because for the first time in many years I am finally a good for MYSELF person. I treat me better now which leads to an all around better life.
I echo the same advice you do. DONT WASTE ANYMORE TIME! GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOU!!
Great post as always!!
*super big huggles*
=0)
April 30th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Wonderful and thought provoking post Hanlie and I agree whole heartedly with much of what you said. I have one area that I struggle with however and that is what you said here:
And that truth is not dependant on how you look, how fat or thin you are, how your parents, the kids at school or your ex treated you or even how you thought about yourself in the past.
While I agree that we can’t get wrapped up in the past, reliving it and dwelling on it I have found in my own experience and the experience of so many others that the past has made us who we are and that if we do not deal with it we cannot move forward.
It does matter how our parents treated us and how others treated us in our past because those things left emotional scars that are driving our behaviors in ways that our conscious mind is unaware of. If we keep running away and we keep trying to avoid dealing with them then we are kept in a state of slavery and bondage to them. It is only when we open to the pain and hurt and we allow ourselves to experience it and forgive will we be able to be free of it.
It is so funny because last night I created this audio on my blog that I hope you will listen to regarding my latest struggle. I will be posting a follow up to that audio today because I had a huge, life changing epiphany late last night. It really will crystallize what I am talking about here.
Love you and I am so proud of your strength and determination. You are an amazing woman with so much wisdom that we are all blessed to be able to have access to. Keep going and keep growing! I love you!
Michelle
Michelles last blog post..The Sleeping Monster
April 30th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Felicia, you are one of my heroes! I love you attitude and your love of life! Thank you so much for the kind words.
Michelle, I’m going through my reading list now, so I’ll get to your audio shortly! You are right of course! I expressed myself badly… What I meant was that one doesn’t have to live those truths anymore - breaking free is possible! Of course that involves courage and the willingness to change… Love you too!
April 30th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Xcellent Theme song, Hanlie!
ICEs last blog post..Life…
April 30th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Well..how motivating is that post! Let’s DO THIS! It’s amazing what you (and even me -as far and new habits and losses) have learned and accomplished in just the last few months. New healthier habits, ups and downs, realizations and friendships. It’s been amazing and will continue to be a great journey. I had never really listened to the words of St.Elmo’s fire..Might be putting it on my workout play list now. Thanks for the daily dose of motivation. Have a beautiful day.
susies last blog post..Checkin’ In aka Anyone seen my pedometer cord??????????????
April 30th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Thank you for this post! I needed to read that today. I have analyzed my overeating for years, and I am sure that it started when I became an adult and responsible for providing my own food. Suddenly, I could eat whatever I could afford to buy instead of what little my parents could afford. No cookie or pizza or bottle of soda was out of bounds. And it still isn’t. I have lost 25 pounds since the beginning of the year, and just feel very little motivation to lose any more of it. I want the cookies. =( I need to look at food in an entirely different way.
Heathers last blog post..Stockpiling Food : Good or Evil?
April 30th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
I do wonder how you ended up battling weight, Hanlie. You are so wise, so on track, so strong, and have amazing will power. I truly believe you are on your way to a slim, healthy life. You inspire me in ways other than weight.
nutmegs last blog post..My Friend ROCKS!
April 30th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Hanlie….you are such an articulate writer. I love how you have expressed these thoughts, feelings and truths so beautifully. I had been treading water myself, in a holding pattern, for years. And I agree, juice feasting has been the kick start for me to open my heart and mind to the truths that are looking me in the eye. Our life is now, and we can either get busy living it to the fullest or we can just sit around like a bump on a log and wait to to die. It’s all about the choices we make.
xoxo….Penni
PS….I LOVED St. Elmo’s Fire. I was obsessed with Rob Lowe back in the day ;- )
Pennis last blog post..Releasing - Day 60
April 30th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Thanks for a wonderful post. I’ve seriously been contemplating making some major life changes and it’s when I read things like this post that make me realize that yes I can take that leap and make those changes. It is my life, now. It’s my journey and I too need to take action. Good for you for doing so.
BigGirls last blog post..Back to My Life
April 30th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Great post! Your writing is really exceptional - well done on your journey so far.
Netjanes last blog post..Slim vang sy baas
May 1st, 2008 at 3:22 am
Love your quotes! And, I very much enjoy your writing
Have a lovely week
May 1st, 2008 at 4:47 am
Wow, I really needed this tonight. Very inspiring! I think I might make St. Elmo’s Fire my theme song too, for now!!
By the way, I wanted to let you know about a WP plugin to track weight… it’s only a dashboard plugin right now but according to the author’s blog he has future plans to write a sidebar widget to go with it (the one that’s included now does NOTHING!). You can find the plugin here: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/the-hackers-diet/#post-763
Thanks again for the inspiration, and the soundtrack to go with!
Sams last blog post..i swear, you think you’re doing swell…
May 1st, 2008 at 7:36 am
Well! Seems we are on the same track here, Hanlie. I needed this post, thank you, especially as I started to dive into this strange discovery of “liking the extra weight”. The past shouldn’t have that tight a hold on us. It is all about pressing forward and reaching out to what we *can* be!
I so agree: Weight loss is only the by product of getting control of my life.
Growing more and more aware is certainly the key for me, otherwise I know I will keep sabotaging myself.
GOOD LUCK with this next stage of your journey! I am right behind you!
Love,
Pippa
Pippas last blog post..Fat Answers
May 1st, 2008 at 10:03 am
[...] about back pain, my new job, an award that I got from the lovely cmae and I really need you to read Hanlie’s post from today because it is just [...]
May 1st, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Wonderful post! This sums up my feelings exactly, much more elegantly than I could have put them. It appears you have come a long way in many areas of your life - congratulations and keep up the great work!!
Cheris last blog post..Le Grincheux
May 6th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
BEAUTIFUL post!!!