Time for Plan B?
Posted on Jan 31, 2008 under By The Way... |
For a lot of people on the Healthy You Challenge the cracks are starting to appear. They were so gung-ho in the beginning, they tried their best and despite a few cheats here and there, the scale appeared to be their best friend. Sure it was hard, but the rewards were visible on the graphs, in the stats and the tickers.
But after four weeks, the scale is becoming a little stubborn. And it feels like all the hard work is for nothing. You’re starting to feel depressed and inadequate again. Thoughts like “I can’t do this”, “I should just quit and try again next month/in the spring” and “Maybe I don’t deserve to be thin. I’m such a failure!” are cropping up.
As I’ve read between the lines in so many blogs these last few days, I started wondering why I’m not feeling like that. After all, I haven’t lost a single ounce yet, and I’m still going strong. Of course, I believe in what I’m doing with all my heart and soul. I believe that this will be a viable and desirable way for our family to live, once it’s fully implemented. But I believe the real difference between the people who are still motivated and the people who aren’t, is the way we started off.
The ones who are wavering now are the ones who started with a bang. Who wanted to lose x amount of weight by a certain time, who had a Day 1 of a “plan”. Who went on a diet. Sure it’s great in the beginning. But then real life starts interfering. And while you’re still following the plan, you are in fact feeling bored and deprived. You feel as if you are being punished for your past excesses. The thought of living like this for another week, let alone the rest of your life, fills you with despair. And what’s more, you’re putting in all this effort and “only” losing a pound per week! That’s just not fair! It’s even based on a scientific principle - the law of diminishing returns.
Compare that to the group who are still motivated. They are the ones who made small changes initially, but kept adding to it. In the beginning their losses were negligible, but as they increase their efforts, at a pace that suits them and doesn’t feel like punishment, the rewards are increasing. They are learning habits for a healthier life. And they don’t care how long they take to get to the end, because viscerally they know that there is no end to this journey. The journey is our life. We will never be finished, complete, done, perfect and all-knowing. To wish this journey over is to wish your life over.
If you are not happy with your journey, go and sit on a rock, soak up some sun and re-evaluate your goals and your approach. Decide whether you want to move forward, regardless of the pace, or whether you are going to retreat back to your captivity. If you decide on the latter, know that your prison is not your fat body, it is your mind that refuses to believe in yourself. Staying on the rock is not an option. There is only forward or backward.
I recommend forward. You get to walk with some great people! And the views are fantastic!
Remember I mentioned Plettenberg Bay yesterday? Lidian posted a picture on her blog today about one of her “feel good” places. Plett, on the south coast of South Africa, part of the well-known Garden Route, is one of my feel good places. I used to walk to work in the morning and this was the view I had when going down the hill. Seeing the sun come up over those mountains and paint the water pink and orange used to soothe my soul and prepare me for the day ahead. I was very happy in Plett, the last place I lived where I was still a normal weight.
Gym today was tough! I struggled in Pilates, but also had some breakthroughs. It helps to ask questions when you’re struggling. “Why is this hurting?” or “Why am I feeling this here?” are great ways of correcting mistakes. I must be the only person who leaves a Pilates class bathed in sweat. And embarrassed! I only saw halfway through the class how dirty my feet were! I showered last night before going to bed, but I’d been walking barefoot on the wooden floors all morning and with the wind blowing like it does in CT in summer, the floor gets somewhat dusty. Tomorrow I’m wearing socks to Pilates!
Then came cardio. I knew I was in for a rough time when I started on the elliptical. I did my 5 minutes and moved on to the treadmill. By then I’d twigged that all the hunky guys in the Vodacom shirts were the Vodacom Stormers, our region’s Super 14 Rugby Team*. I was full of aches and pains on the treadmill and almost gave up after 10 minutes, but somehow got a second wind and marched on. I did not feel moved to break into a run on this occasion, and that’s just fine by me! Maybe tomorrow! I finished off with 5 minutes of arm ergo, so even though I wasn’t in any “zone” today, I completed the whole workout and in retrospect it wasn’t to bad. My Pilates instructor was working out too and gave me a thumbs up!
* The Super 14 is an annual rugby contest between 14 regional teams from South Africa, New Zealand and Australia.
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January 31st, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Small incremental changes are so much easier to sustain than huge ones. Making peace with who we are along the way rather than trying to change ourselves overnight is key.
January 31st, 2008 at 4:12 pm
AWESOME POST! I couldn’t agree more. I feel so bad when I read all the “all or nothing” posts. They are worth so much more then that. But I do understand. I was there for years and years. “If I didn’t do it perfect and wasn’t a HUGE success I was a failure and I quit”. As it was just to “hard”. I made major mountains out of really small mole hills. Anyways I loved this post. Very inspiring!!
Have a SUPER day!
*huggles*
=0)
January 31st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Regarding reassessing strategies and maybe taking a new approach, I am reminded of one of the Inspiration quotes on my page:
“Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow; whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die.” —Tao Te Ching
I personally have a tendency to get fixated on a single way of doing things. But if things aren’t working, especially in the realm of weight loss, there are many, many different tactics we can try :).
January 31st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Great post as usual - and what a beautiful place that is! Truly a ‘happy place’…I agree with everything you said. I am down only a pound or two but who cares, I feel so much better and more accountable. And thank you for the linkie!
January 31st, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Great post and what a view! Hoe verlang ek nou huistoe, na my stukkie see in die Oos-Kaap.
January 31st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Babysteps seem to be the way to go, but I know how easy it is to fall into the “pie in the sky” diet and weightloss cycle, it was probably my biggest reason for failure as a young adult. I’d like to think Im wiser now (haha!).
Im really impressed with how you push through your work out even when you aren’t feeling it. This is currently one of my biggest challenges, and your post today is a great inspiration. Thanks!
Have a great week.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:21 pm
yes yes yes yes yes! I agree my dear Hanlie.
I LOVE that picture. And just like on Lidian’s blog (now this is freaky again!) I have been to Plettenberg Bay, on holidays, a long time ago. Did I mention darling D lived in South Africa the first 15 years of his life..? no? I’m telling ya, we are somehow magically related you and me 
Well done, great post!
At my (our) weight it would be ridiculous to think ‘I want to lose x pounds by Easter’ or any other date. That’s not what this is about AT ALL for me. Granted, I want to lose weight, of course I do, but the main task here is to change my lifestyle into a healthier one. Liiiiittle by little. I know it’ll take me a long time to even fully implement ONE new habit, and make it second nature, let alone all of them
January 31st, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I try to always move forward, but sometimes find myself riding in circles. That is when I have to re-evaluate what I am doing (and thinking) and get back to going in the right direction.
Thank you for the post, I needed it this morning. It helped me straighten out a bit more!
I love that view.. how can you not feel good when looking at that!
Great job with pilates! You are rockin it!
P.S. I love the hair! I once had hair that color… also red, blue, purple and green… yes, green. Most of the time it was an accident but I learned to love myself anyway! LOL
January 31st, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I had a lot of the same thoughts. You put them into words so well.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:27 am
that is a great post because its true about the differnece between a “diet” and what is a “lifestyle”. it also has a lot to do with only seeing results on the scale vs seeling other results. If you only measure your success by what the scale says, its natural to be disapointed. but if you measure your success by the healthy foods you ate, the temptation you avoided, the exercise you performed(which only makes your body healthier), the water you drank, the compliments you received, the smaller size you got into, the inches lost……it goes on and on and on…then you are more likely to keep going, even when the scale doesnt seem to reflect the hard work.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:28 am
Love the photo! I can see why its your happy place.
You know, I’m just trying to make a few good healthy changes. I’ve played that other game…I lost 5 pounds my first week…if I lose 5 pounds a week for the next year, I’ll be AT GOAL…and then the weight loss slows, you get frustrated and you quit. I really think that I finally realize that forward is the only option for me.
As always, I love your beautiful words.
February 1st, 2008 at 4:25 am
Great post! I’ve felt so bad for some of the folks struggling. It’s so hard to read when you know someone is setting herself/himself up to fail, so heart-breaking because I’ve done it to myself so many times. I pray they’ll find their Plan B and get back in the game.
Congrats on a super exercise day!
February 1st, 2008 at 8:45 am
Ha, Plett.
I spent so much time living next to that lagoon, it feels like home!
February 2nd, 2008 at 6:44 am
Pretty picture and great post..um..This may be redundant b/c I expressed this on Heather’s blog a few weeks back..even though yes, I have a date in mind to lose it by…it’s not the end of the road. I NEED that date to remind and motivate me. It’s my little mantra 40by40. I just needed something to kick me in the butt and say , “it’s time”. I am ,though, changing my lifestyle as well, one step at a time..so even if I don’t hit 40 by 40..I will be closer than if I didn’t do this at all. It’s hard to stay motivated..so whatever works. I bet it was fun to workout while looking at all the hunky rugby players!! Great job on the exercise! Doing great!